Cranky in da house! I've always wanted to say that ;-)

Here we are again. Another week, another ABDC episode, another CrankyCap. Hopefully with less fuckery than last week. That'd make a nice change.

Today's episode in the horribly named season of the superstars is all about Rihanna - ana - ana. Get it? Umbrella, ella, ella? Never mind. The crews get help this week from Rihanna's VMA nominated choreographer Tanisha. Which is apparently exciting. I don't really care. My finger is already hovering over the fast-forward button. But first ...

take a second just to breathe

Follow up:

As per usual, we start with the remaining crews on stage and Mario will reveal the name of a crew that is definitely safe. And the first crew that will be back next week is .... *bangs head on keyboard* ... Instant Noodles. Seriously? I'm having a Poreotix flashback and I'm NOT liking it!

Oooh, hello! Did someone hear my rant about there being too much D-Trix on this show? Looks like JC got a chance to tell the crews what's what this week. I approve! On the other hand, I got so distraced by how HOT he looked that I completely missed what was said and I can't be bothered to rewind. Something about dancehall grooves. As opposed to living room grooves? I'm so confused.

but did I mention the HOT?

Anyway! The Noodles are up and for their challenge, apart from the whole dancehall thing, they also have to incorporate a head top. Okay then.

so not sexy

I suppose if I want to be nice, I could say this was probably their best performance so far but that's really not saying much. And I'm not nice, so I'll just say I didn't like it. I felt there were too many stunts and not enough choreography. They were sloppy and out of sync. I wasn't really feeling the grooving thing and definitely not when they were doing it on their heads. Also, what the hell was up with those pants?!

Lil' Mama says they could have brought more to the dancehall style performance but she loves how the guys stepped out of the box a little bit and took on the challenge with the bboy style. She tells them to study reggae a bit more so they can learn to embrace it. She won't say it was great, but it was good.

D-Trix says that was the best performance they've had yet. He says they definitely did their challenge and they did it in the bboy way and he respects that.

JC first thanks the choreographer Tanisha for being on the show and helping the crews out. Aaaww. He's so nice. He tells the Noodles he liked how they switched from the dancehall style to the bboy style and transition-wise it worked really well from one style to the next. However, he is surprised that their floorwork got sloppy because they're known for their floorwork and they might need to some cleaning.

On to Mario revealing another crew that's staying and that crew is ... Iconic Boyz. I'm not surprised about this. I AM surprised that this means 787 Crew is in the bottom two.

So Iconic Boyz is up next and their challenge is to "give it a run".

strike a pose

I can't hate on them this week. I thought they did really well. The grooving was there, they "gave it a run", they threw some humor in there and a stunt. They really tried and gave it their all this week. On another note however, it's kinda freaky seeing older ladies freaking out over 10-13 year old boys. That's just nasty.

D-Trix says that last week he told them it takes more than being adorable to be America's Best Dance Crew and he feels that this week they brought adorable, stunts, comedy and really good choreography and that's what it takes. He says there were a lot of great moments in this routine.

JC starts by saying he agrees with what D-Trix said. ahahahaha! Little winkwink, nudgenudge to last week's comments. I love that!

JC made a funny

JC says this was a really great performance for them and everything came together. He loves the fact that they're pushing themselves right now and they're doing stunt work that normally isn't comfortable for them. And even though he feels things got a little sloppy at times, he says this was a really strong showing for this crew this week.

Lil' Mama says they were amazing and that their transitions are phenomenal. She says they need to work the reggae sensation and that they did that and she loves them.

On to the next two crews who are safe this week. The first crew through to next week is I aM mE. Get outta here! I'll say again : who the hell is voting for these guys?!

In case you're having a hard time keeping up, the two remaining crews are Street Kingdom and Phunk Phenomenon. One of them is safe, the other gets to battle it out against 787 Crew in the bottom two.

The crew that still has a chance is .... Phu ...... WHAT?! WAIT? WHAT?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *rewinds* OHMYGODWHAT?! Um, so, the crew that still has a chance is Street Kingdom. Who the hell did they pay? Fuck this shit! Again, apologies for the language but come ON! Phunk Phenomenon has been the most consistent crew so far! Always explosive, always getting rave reviews! What the hell is this shit?

Yo, admins. Can I quit this recap stuff? What do you mean I can't quit halfway through the season? Huh? It's in my contract? I have a contract? Did not know that. Dammit. Okay. Fine! I'll continue. But if Phunk Phenomenon goes home, I'm going on strike :-p

Who's next? Oh, yeah, I aM mE and their challenge is the "spiderman". Which looks totally ridiculous. I have no idea how you're supposed to make that look cool.

not the spiderman but kinda cool

Their best performance so far, without a doubt. I liked that the blonde girl was able to strut her stuff and be in the spotlight for a change and she did a good job. Some nice visuals again but I didn't feel like there was enough grooving. There were moments but as a whole it just didn't work for me. I honestly don't see what the big deal is about this crew. Also, it's really hard to keep up with a routine when those lights are flashing like maniacs. I was almost blinded.

Let's see what the judges made of it. Like I care. ;-)

JC says he likes everything about this group. Do you now? We're gonna have some words later, mister! He says once they started moving it was mindblowing and this was an exceptional performance. There was more but he was talking so fast that I couldn't keep up. Always a sign that he likes something.

Lil' Mama says they are the perfect combination of doing what they do and opening themselves up to their challenges while also making their challenges look seamless and she commends them for that. She also points out the blonde girl, who's apparently called Olivia and only 15 years old.

D-Trix says this routine couldn't have been any better and it was absolutely brilliant. He says that not only did they take the challenge but they still stuck to what they're good at and creating this brainbanging. He says they blew him away.

Right. Clearly I'm not seeing what they're seeing. All that gave me was a headache and it's not from the brainbanging :-p

Next up Street Kingdom whose challenge is the "dutty wine"? Is that right? I have no idea. Looks like you just need to wave your long hair about. A lot. And it's supposed to look sexy. Or something. All I see is a potential whiplash.

the return of the awesome capping skills

Holy cow! And I don't mean that in the good way. I cringed all the way through. What the hell kind of clusterfuck was that? I'll say it again : there are TOO MANY PEOPLE ON THAT STAGE! And half of them aren't actually doing anything except walking around and posing here and there. Even the attempt at a story was lame. Also, no offense to the girl whose name I don't know, but if that was supposed to be sexy, I'm the frickin' Pope! Just ... no!

Lil' Mama ... ohmygod here we go again. She's crying. This is just ridiculous. She says they represent the streets and they represent the people who don't have a chance. She tells them they need to step it up with their performances and stop being abc with their choreography and she wants them to bring it hard. So, hang on, is she saying she's disappointed? Ugh, whatever.

D-Trix says he thought Melissa (the girl whose name I didn't know) was sexy. He says he's been watching Tight-Eyez every week because he's such a fan but tonight he was all about Melissa who is sexy as hell. Lesson of the day : D-Trix wouldn't know sexy if it came and bit him in the ... nose. He points out that they did story telling. Which sucked but he's not mentioning that part. He tells them ... okay, hold up, pause.

This has been bugging me throughout this episode. What the hell is up with his thumb? It's freaky as hell and so distracting! I can't stop looking at it!

what's up with that?

Focus! Must focus! He goes on by saying he can't tell them how to krump but he can tell them to use the gimmicks with the group to create group visuals but he really liked the performance.

JC says the choreography in the beginning was a bit abdc and a bit simple and there was a lot walking and posing. He did like the couples section. Course he did ;-) He said it was playful and performed well. But he does say the routine was a little elementary and they need to see as much dancing as possible.

And after all of that we've finally made it to the battle of the bottom two. It's funny how there are less crews and yet each episode seems to last longer. I don't mean "ahahaha" funny. I mean that in the "ohmygod get your shit together show because you suck" funny. Kinda.

First up is Phunk Phenomenon and their challenge is the "chaplin".

boom!

I love this crew with a fiery passion! Every week they bring it and they bring it hard. Their formations are spot on, they bring the choreo, they pick out the beats! I LOVE THEM!

No comments from the judges. We're moving straight on with 787 crew. Their challenge is the "gallis step". I'm sure that'll be crystal clear in the routine. You clearly have to be super bendy for this thing. I hope nobody gets hurt.

that ain't the way to do it

No room for the injured crew member in the wheelchair this week. Shame. Like I said last week, he seemed to bring a little extra to the table and I feel that was lacking tonight. For me, they cheated on their challenge as the way Tanisha showed them, their heads are supposed to touch the ground and that didn't happen. They had a nice grooving section but it didn't really work for me. Could have been the ridiculous outfits though. I'm not saying it was bad, it just seemed to lack a little oomph.

JC gets to talk about Phunk Phenomenon. He tells them that when they first came on the show he thought they were really good. But when he saw them the next week and the week after that, he thought "wow, they're REALLY good"! He says this group has a lot of heart and they're dancing for a great cause so not only are they breakdancers but they are really great human beings and a wonderful example for people. Aaww. YES! To use Lil' Mama's words for a change : "that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!" I hereby totally forgive JC for praising I aM mE earlier ;-)

Lil' Mama tells 787 Crew that Puerto Rico needs to stand up and respect them for holding it down. She says they really embrace hiphop and breaking. She says it hurts to see either one of these crews go home.

D-Trix tells Phunk Phenomenon they've been extremely brilliant every week and what he loves best about them is that they are great at all original styles of hiphop and at the same time they are still bringing the mainstream feel with the choreography and stunts. He says there is no weakness with this crew and he commends them for that.

On to 787 Crew. D-Trix says that often on this show they get crazy stunt crews and being able to blend the stunts with the choreography is one of the hardest things to do and these guys showed that bboys too can get down and dance and have fun. Any member can do the crazy stunts individually.

He tells both crews that they've inspired people all over the world and that that is the most important part of this dance competition and dancing on stage. He ends by saying this is going to be the hardest result the judges are going to have to come up with. He says both crews are amazing and they have to keep it up no matter what.

Sidenote : The decision for the judges (or producers) wouldn't BE this hard if people would start voting correctly! It's supposed to be a dance show, not a popularity contest. These two crews should NOT have been in the bottom two based on their performances last week.

Anyway, time for the judges to decide.

let's all ignore freaky thumb dude

Mario tells us the judges agreed that this is the hardest decision they've had to make all season.

Drumroll please!

*drumroll*

The crew that still has a shot at the 100 thousand dollar grand prize and the title of America's Best Dance Crew is ... PHUNK PHENOMENON! YES! YES! YES! Excuse me for a second! *dances around her office*

Okay. I'm good.

Poor 787 Crew. They get a standing ovation from the judges which is cool to see. They didn't deserve to go tonight. Stupid Noodles crew ;-)

what the hell is SHE wearing?!

We get the video montage of their journey here. They always make me cry. I hate that. Cranky shouldn't cry. It's bad for her image.

And when the time comes for 787 Crew to take their final walk off the stage as their banner falls, one crew member goes ahead and does this.

gracias

Really? That's just so amazing! I've never seen anyone do this before and it totally warms the cold abyss that is my heart!

Five crews now remain and they will be back next week to take on the hottest tracks of .... oh come on now! You have GOT to be shitting me! Yo admins, can we renegotiate that alleged contract I have? I'm pretty sure I never agreed to do ANYTHING that involves Justin Bieber!

As always thanks for reading! Til next time! If I get my way, the week after next. I don't need a fever and definitely not a Bieber one ;-)